February 2012
So much for not being back at Mom's.
Ugh. Oh well.
jajacactusflower asked: I Love You!
Finally "home".
After a week at my Mother’s I’m back at Clara’s. I’m not done there, so much to do still, but I’m DONE staying there. I simply can’t tolerate it. Between my allergies and Mom’s lazy ass I’m SICK OF IT! Glad to be back to the land of internet and sanity. Now to answer all of these messages.
In the list of “People I can count on for nothing but disappointment” my mother makes number two. Only beaten by my sister in the number one slot.
She's being released today.
I feel like vomiting.
Kendall's ok for now. I didn't mean to alarm...
But the plan is she will be released to the streets with no longterm care sometime next week. Mom’s not going to take her back. There is a strong chance she will OD. I was just doing a load of black wash when I realized I dot have a black dress. I just want to be prepared so I have less to deal with when and if she’s gone.
That sinking feeling.
Realizing I don’t have a suitable black dress. How do you begin to shop for a dress you will no doubt feel sick everytime you look upon it?
Alone in my bed is the only place I can let myself feel because I can’t show I’m feeling to the outside world. Overcompensating with laughter. Then as I lay down it all rushes in. Sleep is a joke. Getting less than 3 hours before I wake up screaming or wet faced again. Distractions have dwindled and the ones I do have are becoming ineffective. I wish for once I didn’t have to do...
Mom's car seems to be in ok shape other than dirt....
Also friends who have sent me messages on here. I can’t answer them privately on my phone but I will hopefully have computer access on Wednesday. There are 18 of you awaiting reply. But mostly know that I’m struggling but I’m physically ok.
Things that make me happy:
When I can wear my sister’s tiny ass clothes. Found sweatpants and two shirts I can wear today. Two mediums and a SMALL. They are her predrugged body so they will not fit her now anyway, she’s back in children’s sizes these days. But at least somebody gets some use out of them. Also I’ve lost 23 pounds to date! :D Trying to remain positive. They found moms car today. Not...
Tears hit.
Woke up from another nightmare except everything in this one could very well come true soon. So it wasn’t even like waking up helped. My chest hurts and vision is blurry. I’m not dealing but I’m surviving.
sneakygaze:
sneakygaze:
sneakygays:
...
Sleep schedule is totally fucked.
But what else is new. I just wish my body could hit somewhere between 7-9 hours instead of 3 or 13 because those seem to be my options lately. Too much or too little. Also, there is no internet here other than what Ilse the iPhone can provide and my 2 gigs for this month is dwindling. I should probably be cleaning but I’ve basically been doing nothing else since Thursday morning and...
I was able to go get Gatorade and the cats were...
But I’m not handling anything well. No antidepressants can fix all this mess. I’m beginning to wonder if anything can.
I hate asking for help.
There’s nothing to drink in moms house and I’m getting dehydrated. And all of the people I know in Oakville that I’ve called or texted have gone to work or are still asleep. I don’t have a car and moms car still hasnt been found. I need someone to take care of ME. I’m the only one holding my family together right now and I feel like there’s no one willing to or...
Got some food in me and I'm feeling a little...
My friend Kelly who lives close to me had her brother pick me up and then her mom made me dinner. Still very upset but I’ll be ok. No real news on how Kendall is doing. They haven’t let mom in to see her yet. Spending the night at moms house alone but that might be good maybe I can get some rest so there’s less questioning from everyone. Gonna try to sleep now thanks again for...
Kendall was just found.
She’s headed to the hospital now. Thanks everyone for your support. I’ll keep you posted.
They just put out a missing persons on my sister. On the news. And people are blowing up my phone like crazy. Leave me alone. It’s hard enough to pay attention in class.
Waiting for the call that your sister is dead...
I hate everyone and everything involved in this situation.
I don't know how to handle any of this.
I just feel like curling up in fetal and sleeping until all this mess is over.
alanadelrey:
i just knocked my ankles together because i was seat dancing and my ankle bones hit each other and oh my god i’m in AGONY WHY ARE OUR BODIES BUILT THIS WAY.
GPOY SO MUCH. Anytime I hit anything on my ankle bones. Dear lord. When you’ve broken both ankles twice and your right leg once you begin to wonder if your bones are made of fucking porcelain.
“You were last seen walking through a field of pianos. No. A museum of mouths. In...”
– “new york craigslist > personals > missed connections,” Megan Falley (via clavicola)
I can't even see.
I’m crying. So happy.
OH. MY. GOD.
My life. It’s over. That was perfect.
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Eeeeeeeee
Eeeeeeeeeeee
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeer
Oh god.
I should not be as happy as I am about that going miserably.
Holy fuck Amber why don't you wear that dress on...
You look smokin’!
OH. I GUARANTEE YOU HAVE.
WAS THAT AN ADMISSION QUINN?!
Dianna your hair has reached the same awkward...
LET’S GET HAIRCUTS TOGETHER GIRLFRIEND!
sassygaychewbacca:
here’s where he meets prince charming
but he won’t discover that it’s him till episode 16
OH LOOK, IT'S TV'S TOP COUPLE
dramainthelb:
so ready for this
Yay Kurt!
Way to speak truths.
That peck better not be all we get.
Also EW that Finchel kiss.
Harry your voice.
Can we just make out now?
Glee time.
I wish I was watching it at home though.